Anxiety can feel like an unwelcome guest that just won’t leave. But waiting for it to disappear before you start living the life that you want is a bad idea. Why? Because inaction and avoidance keeps anxiety going and...
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A statement I hear a lot is “I shouldn’t feel this way”. Do you ever experience a valid, human emotion and then tell yourself it is wrong? When you believe you shouldn’t feel something, you resist it. You squash the...
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In my last post I described self-compassion as a life skill that we can all keep working on. But why bother? What makes a little self-compassion so important for mental health? Well, over a thousand research studies have...
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Self-compassion is a core skill for maintaining good mental health. So, what is self-compassion? Think for a moment about what makes a really great friend. Answers often include things like kindness, support, encouragement,...
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If you read my last post you know that a growth mindset is important for recovery and self-development. So, how do you actually get yourself into a growth mindset? Here are some suggestions: 1. Make a habit of looking out for...
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Does mindset matter? Yes it does. Mindset acts as an internal template for making sense of problems and responding to them. Whatever the changes you are trying to make, taking time to get into the right mindset each day can make...
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Here are the 3 most common myths about confidence that I come across: Confidence is the absence of fearSome people are born confident, others are not that luckyI cannot create confidence, I must wait for it to come to me Here is...
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Kintsugi is the Japanese art of fixing broken pottery with a special tree sap dusted with powdered gold. The result is a one-of-a-kind ceramic. This restoration method does not try to hide the cracks. It celebrates the unique...
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I often get asked about my opinions on medication and whether it is a good idea. I am not against medication in general. In fact, throughout my career I have seen it save lives. It can enable those who are most unwell to...
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Self-sabotage is any action that gets in the way of our valued intention. It can be procrastination, avoidance, self-medication, lacking the effort required to fully excel. Many of the behaviours can be small and subtle. Not...
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What is your favourite inspirational quote? The one that resonates the most with you? The one that inspires you to keep going when life feels overwhelming? Let’s share our favourites. Returning to a powerful quote can be a great...
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Do you eat McDonald’s every day? Probably not. Why? Because you care about your health, right? However good something may taste in the moment, you try to make healthy choices most of the time. Well, your mind is just like...
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What are the key factors that take you from mildly anxious to a full blown panic attack? 1. It all starts with hypervigilance to threat. This means we are constantly on the lookout for signs that we might not be safe. When we...
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9 key points about emotions: 1. No emotion is bad or wrong. 2. They all have a reason, a message, a function. 3. All of the emotions we experience today evolved because they promoted our survival in some way by influencing our...
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When people engage in therapy for anxiety, something they learn is this: Thoughts are not facts. Instead, thoughts are predictions, opinions, ideas and judgments. They are filled with biases that affect how we perceive things....
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Are you waiting for the time to be just right? Are you waiting until you feel like it? One of the hardest facts about mental health recovery is that you are never going to feel like it. There will never be perfect circumstances...
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What is the Key to a Long, Healthy and Happy Life? Search the internet with this question and you will find a wide variety of answers. But very few of them are based on any scientific research evidence. What the science says The...
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When life takes things out of our hands and all the problem-solving in the world is not going to change anything, its time to prioritise the coping strategies that will help you to endure the emotional pain that you face. When...
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There is a time and a place for goal setting, planning and preparation. But the day to day business of healing and recovery demands that you focus on the here and now. When people come along to therapy, they describe the changes...
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Everyone has good days and bad days. But we are not at the mercy of the mood we wake up with. Evidence shows that the following actions can lift your mood and get you back on track. No rocket science involved and you don’t...
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How to take control of a problem Feel like you are going round in circles? It might be because you are. In therapy many people discover that they are facing hard times using old coping strategies that no longer serve them. As a...
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People are gradually becoming less afraid to speak about the unspeakable. And yet, while I feel so passionately that this is an essential move in the right direction, something is missing. Building awareness of a problem is the...
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Gems from the Therapy Room. Don’t chase happiness. Make room for all of life’s emotions. Be open to all the ups and downs. Focus on connectedness and compassion for yourself and others. In the west we are afraid of the more...
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Self-sabotage can sometimes be knowing what is best for you, and not doing it. Repeatedly. These can be small moments, like choosing the food that doesn’t nourish you. Or bigger decisions, like choosing relationships that hurt...
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Sometimes the life you are aiming for can feel so far away that you start to question why you keep trying. Yet, all the great temples of the world were built brick by brick. If someone you know seems to have it all sorted and...
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